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[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. Slay, this takes place some days after the other thread we’re in but before an actual pack is formed. So umm yeah. Territory 10 Quartz Shoreline. Others can join if they'd like. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] The prospect of a pack was looking up. First Slay had stumbled upon them, and then Colibri’s sister had appeared on the scene, all so fast. Even if they never formed a pack, they weren’t wandering alone anymore. It was a great comfort to know that when Cercelee returned “home” that she would find the others, or at least signs that the others had been about. That was more than enough for her at the moment. And now that she had a home base, she didn’t mind wandering off quite as much. The lands were all new, open for exploration, at least to her. Then again, Cercelee had never really explored the old lands either. Slim paws padded along, and Cercelee turned her navy eyes towards her traveling companion. Although she had wandered the surround lands a bit on her own, she hadn’t wanted to go too far without another, as she really had no idea what to expect once she got to wherever she was going. Slay had agreed willingly enough and the air about them had been a pleasant silence as Cercelee kept a fast pace. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk, but for some reason she was intent on finding her destination before the sun got too high in the sky. As luck would have it, noon had not even passed by the time Cercelee felt the first bits of soft sand beneath her paw pads. Waving her tail and her eyes sparkling she broke into a run until she was well on the beach and then plopped herself down in the sand, her breath coming out a bit harder than she had intended. Looking back as Slay came up beside her, she smiled again and turned her sights to the ocean, the rolling waves rushing against the shoreline, crashing and retreating again. Alright, I think we can stop here for a bit. The ocean is lovely, isn’t it?

[Slaying the Dreamer]

Slay padded along after Cercelee, his icy blue eyes lazily observing the passing wildlife. The tall male felt at ease again, knowing that he was not alone, and that others awaited his return. Colibri and her sister would be fine on their own, and could probably use some time to catch up. He didn't begrudge them that - it had been a long time since he'd actually known companionship. And he had to admit, it was nice being surrounded by female friends and not worrying about pack politics. He was somewhat dreading the day when they would declare a leader and subordinates... He had problems with authority, but if he had to put up with orders to stay with companions, then so be it...

Shaking his piebald ruff to clear his mind of such unpleasantness, Slay raised his muzzle to be greeted with the sea... The rolling waves, crashing onto the sandy shore. A grin curved on his black lips as he watched his younger companion bolt forward excitedly. Ah, she wasn't that much younger than him. But to be honest, she reminded him a bit of his cousin, Aniketos. They were similar in their enthusiasm, as well as their looks. But no, Cercelee was clearly a different wolf. Again, Slay was not one to deliberately point out resemblances. They were rarely a compliment to those on the receiving end.

"Hmph, indeed it is. Quite a majestic sight, really. It goes on forever..." he drawled in response, melodic voice deep and clear in the crisp air. He liked all the colours in the sea. Unlike transparent rivers, the ocean had deep greens and blues and white foam. "Heh, wonder how cold it is? Wanna find out?" Slay gave a wicked grin, ebony-dipped tail waving playfully behind him.

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Cercelee was off almost before the words died on Slay’s lips. Shooting her own sly grin and flagging her own tail, it was clear this was going to be a race, at least it was clear to her. As sand flew out from beneath her paws, she wondered at herself. What had crept inside her the last few days to make her so playful, so carefree? Surely she had been upbeat when leaving Clouded Tears the first time, but her optimistic was at a all time high. If anything negative did occur the only thing she felt was apathy, it was the closest she felt to anything remotely unpleasant, that and the nagging loneliness, but that had been solved. Cercelee couldn’t even recall feeling a large amount of distress since recovering from her father abandoning her. It was as if that devastation had taken all her mourning and now no tears or grief could find their way to her. Why was it so easy for her to shake off negative emotions when the bulk of her family sank under their weight or grew cold hearted? Cercelee shook the thought away, it was a wasteful thought to have. Too many others spent countless hours trying to find happiness, it seemed so elusive to them, and yet here she was with a surplus and it would be foolish to search for sorrow. Better to focus on the present. The warm sand beneath her paws, giving way every time she her paw hit the ground, felt wonderful. The salty, fresh air in her face seemed better than any air she had ever smelt, and the ocean was growing closer, closer, almost there. Perhaps she acted more youthful than suited one her age, but why not? If others couldn’t enjoy themselves, Cercelee would do it for them, she could do it for everyone. Cercelee whipped her head to the side to see how close Slay was to her, yet she never got her answer. A cool wetness engulfed her body, sprays of water and foam shooting up as her slim frame crashing into the ocean surface, water so thick for a moment it was all she could see and then she went under as a larger wave came to break upon the shore. When her head was above the water, it was too late to tell if she had reached the ocean first, of course it did not matter, not really, but Cercelee couldn’t resist asking, her smile warm, her tone playful. Did I beat you?

[Slaying the Dreamer]

Slay whooped a laugh, the frigid waters of the ocean shocking him the moment he plunged in. His thick fur had immediately plastered itself all over his body, swirling in the foam beneath him. It felt great to let it all go, and just relax! He hadn't laughed in so long, and now he felt free to do whatever he wanted to!

"Ha, we'll call that a tie, m'dove. You're littler than me, so you can run faster - but I made a bigger splash!"

His teasing tone was followed by a sly wink and a grin. Slay's head bobbed above the swaying waves for a moment, and then he sucked in a deep breath, pointing his muzzle to the sea and slipping underwater. Immersed in a sudden and complete silence, the arctic wolf treaded water, watching with wonder as the bubbles escaped his jaws and floated up towards the sunlight. With a powerful twist of his spine, he shot back up to the surface, bursting upwards with a spray of foam.

"If you wanna win so bad, you think you can hold your breath longer than me...?"
Perhaps it was juvenile for an adult like him to be playing pup games, but Slay usually took a perverse pride in going against popular opinion. And what better way to relieve stress? Hopefully Cercelee would be willing to talk a bit, once they were through. He was very curious about his new companion, as well as the sisters they'd left safely behind. It seemed as though everyone knew each other already, and he was the odd man out.

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. o.0 holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Her playful antics were infectious it seemed. When she had first met Slay she hadn’t imagined that he would be the type to engage in these silly contests of speed and stamina with her. He had seemed kind enough and eager enough to join their group, but hadn’t seemed like the type to revert to childish games in a time of boredom. Perhaps under the right conditions he’d let loose and open up, maybe that was true for any of them. Cercelee mused for a moment, wondering if she could initiate such behavior in Colibri, and with a smile let the thought go. The thought seemed like a harder feat to accomplish than what she had done right here. Cercelee watched with glee as the two toned male disappeared without warning, his head ducking quickly beneath the surface of the water. For a few moment Cer waiting, knowing what came next and then welcomed the spray of water that accompanied his reappearance. Grinning at his words, Cer nodded her head. Sure, but don’t be too upset when I win again, okay? Of course, this was one contest she knew she could not win. As Slay had mentioned, she was smaller, therefore smaller lungs, and besides that fact, when had she ever tried to hold her breath before? Plunging herself under the water, eyes shut tightly against the blue and greens that colored the world beneath the surface, Cercelee waited. Filling her lungs full of air before she had dived under did not seemed to have help all too much, for the irritation of wanting a fresh breath came much too quickly. Slowly letting air escape from her, she wonder how much longer she could hold out, but her answer came quickly enough. Shooting back to the surface, her mouth snapped open, welcoming the exchange of carbon dioxide for oxygen. And of course, she was alone, waiting for Slay to reappear as well the female paddled in a slow circle, wondering why she did not swim more often. How nice it was to just float, riding the waves.

[Slaying the Dreamer]

_{Slay's broad muzzle burst above the wave's surface some moments later, blowing salty water with a snort from his nostrils. "I win, dove! You knew I would," he crowed, blue eyes twinkling with mischief. He hadn't swum in a long time, but truth be told, it was one of his favourite guilty pleasures. His heavy arctic fur would sheave off any cold the water could offer, and his wide paws, built for snow, were also excellent for paddling. He'd found that out the first time by accident, though. Slay had no sense of direction, being used to such a small pack land, and actually fell into a river that washed him quite a distance before he figured out how to swim. Now he was so at ease with water that he often consisted on fish in his solo travel, and could even boast having survived a waterfall in his past.}

"Ah, isn't this the life...?" He asked lazily, letting his form go limp so that the buoyant water held him afloat in the gentle waves. The black and white fur that made his coat so distinct was swaying about him in the ocean, making him look like some bizarre hybrid between a jellyfish and a skunk. "You swim a lot, Cer? I haven't in ages, and it feels so good... Thanks for taking me here, I like it," he added with a little flirtatious wink. He felt a yawn coming on, but calmly ignored it. He really didn't feel tired right now. No need to nap.

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Cercelee smiled at the male, it was hard not to. Although he had used the flirtatious nic-names with Colibri and probably ever other female he crossed paths with, the warm words were nice to hear. Comforting as if they had been friends for a long while, and even if they weren’t sincere, and Cercelee didn’t care if they were or not, they made her feel worthy of attention. It was silly, but that did not matter, as most activities that Cercelee took part in could be considered silly. What she did alone, these childlike contests she was engaging with Slay, many of her conversations. Yet if she was content with them, what did it matter what others thought? Cercelee splashed a bit of water, so little that it fell short of actually hitting Slay, in protest of his victory, although she had after all known who was the winner before either of them had plunged below the surface. Perking her ears, Cercelee looked quizzically at Slay. Did she swim often? For a moment Cercelee couldn’t think of whether to say yes or no. Certainly she was not a stranger to water, but she had never thought of herself as a swimmer, or even that she particularly liked swimming. Right now she liked swimming, but would she tomorrow? Well, I swim when I feel like it I suppose. Not a lot but not a little either. It was a simple explanation, but wasn’t that how she did everything. Living only in the present, thinking only of what would be perfect at that very moment? Life was too short to live any other way. Noting the yawn, Cercelee smiled at the male, unsure if he’d taken her next question as rude, but why not ask. She had been wondering since that day, as she knew next to nothing about Slay, and nothing about Hanna or Colibri really either. Perhaps not the best way to start a pack. How... or rather why, did you fall asleep so suddenly, the other day?

[Slaying the Dreamer]

_"...Oh."

Slay's white-tipped ears flicked back uncomfortably, and he glanced downward at the swirling water. How to explain? His condition defined almost everything about him, so to use just a few simple words seemed... inadequate. Yet, would it be better to downplay it, for his new friend? It wasn't often that he met wolves willing to run with him like Cer, especially after seeing him collapse into slumber. Most times when he woke up, he was alone again. So she deserved a fair explanation. And she would be his packmate, so they needed to trust each other. It was just... difficult... to open up about something like this.

"...It's... Well, it's something I've had all my life. It's called narcolepsy, or just a sleeping sickness. My family wasn't... Well, my pack had to... There was a lot of inbreeding, so there were a lot of unstable wolves. I was born with a sound mind, or pretty sound, anyway, but - I got stuck with this condition."

His voice started out rough and uncertain, but as he finally let out the explanation he'd been carrying unspoken for years, he became more comfortable. Slay was still looking away, though, watching his reflection in the ripples of the ocean. It was easier to pretend he was talking to himself again.

"It's... basically what you saw. I'll just randomly fall asleep sometimes, even in mid-sentence. It's just for a few minutes, but I have... really awful nightmares, so I get all disoriented afterwards. I can't really sleep well at night, though, which is why I collapse a lot. Er, not a lot, just when I get emotional or I let my mind wander too far. I... Er, is this too weird? You've probably never heard of anything like this before, Cer... I'm sorry for rambling."

The big male finally glanced up at his companion, trying to gauge her reaction. Hopefully she wouldn't grow distant, not now... He didn't notice that when he grew serious, he called her by name, rather than by pet name.

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Cer could sense his uncomfortableness with the topic, and while he hesitated Slay did answer all of Cer’s questions, both those spoken and unspoken. There was a moment when Cercelee almost told him to forget it, it was important if he didn’t want to talk about it, but watching his reaction she though perhaps she should know. After all, if they were going to be in the same pack, shouldn’t she know if this was a serious issue or not? The word for his sickness was unfamiliar, but of course Cercelee didn’t have much use for technical terms of that nature, she hadn’t really encountered anyone with a diagnosable disease before. Cercelee wouldn’t say so out loud, she didn’t want Slay to think her strange and she also didn’t want to make light of his situation, but she thought the word “narcolepsy” was a pretty sounding word, even if the meaning was ugly. The reason he gave for being born with this illness wasn’t very pretty either, but Cer too kept that judgement to herself. Well, I do think it’s strange, I’ve never heard of anything like that before, but everyone has something that’s strange or weird about them, or at least abnormal, don’t you think? Wasn’t that true? Did they all come with their faults, their quirks and kinks? Cercelee could switch her emotions on and off at will, she could turn herself completely numb and dead to whatever and whoever if she wish to. Maybe that too was an illness, maybe she could find a pretty sound word with a negative meaning to stick on that, although the closest she had some so far was apathy. Besides, I asked, didn’t I? If I hadn’t wanted to know, I wouldn’t have asked. I think it’s good you told me, I would tell you my own secret but I don’t think I have any. You can ask me anything though, I’d answer. Aside from the fact that she was her dead grandmother’s reincarnation, at least physically, and that she had the Sadira blood in her she did not deny a thing about her life.

[Slaying the Dreamer]

_{Slay flashed her a grateful grin, pleased by her reaction. Cercelee still seemed a bit uncomfortable about her odd companion; she was choosing her words a little too carefully for someone so impulsive. She shouldn't bother; it wasn't like there was anything he hadn't heard before. And it was sort of sweet how she avoided mentioning his fur, when that would be an obvious follow-up question. Anyway, he had implicitly answered that one. It was just genetics...}

"Perhaps you're right, dear, although some quirks are more detrimental that others. I haven't noticed anything wrong with you," he smiled teasingly, icy blue eyes sweeping to meet her navy gaze so easily now, the earlier hesitation gone. He didn't have to talk about his embarrassing condition anymore! It was a relief...

"I guess I'm a little curious as to where you came from, if you don't mind divulging a bit of your past to me. Were you always with Colibri? Have you been wandering long? I tell you, I've been wandering most of my life..."

Slay paddled aimlessly in a circle, lopsidedly smiling in amusement. That was true, he hadn't stayed in one place for so many moons... Was Cercelee like him in that aspect? Probably not, but she seemed so adventurous, it wouldn't surprise him...

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Despite all her sharp observations, certain traits were completely missed on Cer’s radar. Certain oddities that the young female accepted without even realizing it, such as Slay’s coat color. Of course she knew he looked different than most other wolves she’d seen, she’s noted that the first time she saw him, but it never crossed her mind as odd. His coloring was just a fact about him, and that was that, other than making looking at him a tad more interesting and being about to pick him out quickly when he was amongst a sea of white, Cercelee unknowingly gave no thought to the matter. It was the same way she didn’t really classify canines as wolves, coyotes, or hybrids. Cercelee knew that the clan Inferni was known to be very anti-wolf, but still upon meeting a canine that was not wolf, Cercelee never assumed anything, until they gave her reason to form a judgement. Slay’s response made her Cercelee paused to think. Anything wrong with her? For a moment Cer’s navy eyes turned to stare at the water, which was a brighter shade than her eyes as the sun bounced off it. The only thing wrong with her, was that she was only another little ant in the army of Ceres descendants, and that upon meeting complete strangers they knew where she came from better than she did. Shaking the thought from her, Cer raised her eyes to meet Slay’s, merry once again. Get to know me better, I’m sure there will be something that annoys you. The dainty female floated easily in the water, waiting to hear if Slay did indeed have any questions. When he spoke again, the question wasn’t so much a surprise, it was a natural one, and Cercelee had no qualms about answering it. Even in the content of her answer seemed unpleasant at times, her voice never wavered. The female had long since accepted everything, and her past was only a tale, and short one at that. I haven’t always been with Colibri, I only found her a week or so before you stumbled upon us to be honest. I wasn’t born in a pack, just my mother, father and brothers, quite a ways away from here. I don’t think I could ever find the exact area again, I was only three months when my father made me leave with him. Something happened to my mother and brothers one day, they didn’t come back, and my father must have known, because he was very upset. After quite some travel we came to Clouded Tears, one of the packs that was recently destroyed in the fire. My father left me there, with a cousin of mine, Laruku. He was alpha at the time, and apparently it was the pack my father was born into, my grandmother was alpha for a long time or something. The pack was more like a dumping ground for distant relatives I think. Cer paused for a breath and went on, her voice still even, calm. I wasn’t there long but I met another cousin, another drop off like myself, named Coli. Eventually we wandered off together, ran into her father who cared for us until I left on my own. After that I returned to Clouded Tears, but the fire came very shortly. Fleeing that is when I came upon Colibri, after talking it turns out that Coli was Colibri’s granddaughter. So we stuck together and here I am. Displaced for the last year or so, but hopefully that’s behind me now. It was only one year of wandering without a real home, surely Cer would have many more year ahead of her, she was so young, but it had been her whole life so far, and thus felt like forever. Cer smiled weakly at Slay, having laid out her whole life story was no big deal to her, but others always seemed to take more interest in it than her.

[Slaying the Dreamer]

Cer had said a lot... Slay was silent for a moment, letting it sink in. Cercelee was someone who was shuttled around as a pup, losing various relatives and being given to others. It sounded as though her family tree was rather extensive in this area, especially considering that the majority of their new pack-to-be was already related. That... that lent Slay a little insight as to why his friend like to play like a pup, when her childhood should have ended already. It was because it never really began, did it? That sounded a little too familiar...

"My father," Slay began slowly, feeling very conscious of the way his voice caught on the dreaded word, "had me locked away in his den for my puppyhood. Because of the way I look, he thought... He thought that I was a seer, a godsend, to rescue the pack from dying out. He thought that when I fell asleep, I was seeing visions that would give him the answers he needed, as alpha. So he... wouldn't let me leave his sight, lest anything happen to me..."

The big male wasn't sure why he had said that. It was true, of course, but he always tried his best to forget that dark part of his past, the reason for all of his insecurities. Perhaps it was because Cercelee had been so open about her story, or perhaps he just wanted someone to know. And if he had to tell someone, Cer was the one he trusted the most. A little pathetic, he thought bitterly, because they only just met, and out of his entire life, she had been more friendly than any other wolf he'd encountered. But he was coming across as so desperate, pouring his heart to her already! He really just didn't know how to interact, did he? He'd been alone for too long, and now he was too grown-up to learn what most luperci figure out as pups...

Gruffly, Slay turned his head to the side and continued, "Not that it has anything to do with you, though. I just... figured I'd tell you more, since you shared more than I did. That's all." That... didn't sound too awkward, did it...? He hoped not, but he wasn't sure how to fix it... Their happy mood had dissipated because of him...

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] Cercelee listened to the male, tilting her head quizzically when Slay mentioned his coat. For a moment she had to think about it, and then remember that others might think differently of him for his coat. It wasn’t usual for a wolf to have such a pattern. As sad as the story was, and as upset Slay seemed by it, Cer couldn’t help but be intrigued. There were parts she didn’t even understand. A godsend? The female had never heard the word “god” before, in her short life she never conversed with any religious wolf, or any wolf that had even said the word by chance. Slay, you can tell me anything. I don’t mind. But what’s a ‘godsend’? She felt like a child asking, thinking she should already know these words, but how? Her parents never taught her, Laruku had never said the word in front of her as a child, and Haku’s lips were probably the last lips that word would pass in sincerity. The female had figured out what “seer” meant, only by the rest of her explanation. It was strange to think that any pack had traditions, superstitions, and deep beliefs, when her own life had always been so void of any of that. Paddling in a circle again, Cer turned towards shore, looking back at Slay and indicating with her head that she wanted to head towards shore while he explained the word. They had been talking and swimming a while, and her body was beginning to grow tired. They could keep talking if he wanted, or head back to home, it didn’t matter to her, but she needed a rest. Turning back as she approached the shore and began to emerge from the water, she spoke again. More questions. Did your pack have other beliefs like that, or was it just your father? She hoped that he didn’t mind, but she was curious, and he had been open enough thus far.

[Slaying the Dreamer]

Slay indulgently paddled towards the shore, beginning to feel the chill of the ocean setting in himself. It was cold water, after all. As he reached the shore, feeling his wide paws brushing against sand instead of seawater, he pondered the question. Did Cer mean she hadn't heard the word 'godsend' before, or she hadn't heard of a god? Because one of those concepts was much easier to explain that the other... Well, she must've encountered different beliefs at some point or another, what with all the family she'd been with. She wasn't a pup. Slay himself wasn't particularly religious, certainly not after the treatment he'd received by the superstitious fools. But how to explain?

"W-well, it means... A gift from above, like you needed someone and then they came along to help you. That's like a godsend. My father - my whole pack, really, they all had shared those beliefs - thought that I was born to save them, to lead them, so they coddled me and kept me sheltered."

He shook vigorously, spraying the salty droplets onto the gritty beach. His heavy fur was now standing in odd, spiky clumps of black and white, and he gave a defeated sigh, plopping onto his haunches to wait for the sun to dry him. It was wonderful to have someone to listen to him...

"You really do have a pretty name, Cer," Slay commented, glancing at her with a somewhat sad, distant smile. It suited her. "I think that's lucky."

[Cercelee]

[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there. holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic] It wasn’t so strange once the female thought about it, but the idea was still foreign to her. Help did not come from “above” or higher powers or anything of the sort, not as far as Cer knew. Help came from friends, sometimes family (although mostly out of obligation to family), and even strangers. Yet they were solid, tangible beings. They breathed, spoke, and felt the same way Cercelee did. Still, maybe it was the same as fate, luck and all ideas of that nature. Yet the year old female was unsure if she believed in those either. Certain parts of her life seemed preplanned, certain events seemed unavoidable and certain characters seemed destined to cross paths with her. As if someone had preplanned her life, written it out as a nice little story for the pleasure of others. Still, it could all be a coincidence. Whether to believe or not was impossible to decide for Cercelee. Do you believe in things like that? “Godsends?” The word still sounded strange to her. What about destiny? Perhaps the male did. Cercelee smiled at the compliment of her name, and yet he also said that it was lucky. Was that just what one said? Or was it more? My name? It’s just a name though... Cercelee neither liked nor disliked her name, she never really thought about it, as she never really had to address herself, only suffer the unavoidable introductions from time to time. Everyone who knew my grandmother and my father thinks that I was named after her... my grandmother. Her name was Ceres. Not really the same but I can see why they think that. Although the female did not admit it out loud, she never doubted her father’s intentions. Her brothers, she had learned, were named for her grandfather and uncle, apparently both very close to her father. Of course she too had a name that was meant for someone else. Do you think names actually mean anything? Other than just a name I mean? After meeting so many of her family members here, and learning more how they were all interconnected, she began to see how much weight many of her relatives, her father included, put upon a title. Worse of all was the sir name many of the seemed to tote, to use in introductions. As if a name brought them any closer together than they were, which with Cercelee and the rest of them there was a big distance in between. Shaking out her fur again, she smiled sheepishly and then laughed cheerily, dismissing the serious tone that their conversation was being to take on.Never mind about the names. I’m just talking, they aren’t important really. Do you think it’s time to head back?

[Slaying the Dreamer]

OoC: I've been awful about replying, I'm so sorry. I take it we should wrap this one up. ^^;

Slay felt a funny smile quirk onto his countenance at Cercelee's rambling. Yes, names definitely meant something... After all, he had been named 'Dreamer', and look at what that did to him. Cursed to fall asleep for the rest of his life, without control over his own body. But then again, he had changed his name, too, and that had only made a difference in his personality. He still had the sickness, but he was much cockier and playful than before. The big male shook his damp ruff, wondering if even he knew what he believed in.

"Yes... Perhaps they're not important after all."

Slay smiled at her, his pale gaze soft with a contented light. He did use nicknames more often than titles, anyway, was that not so? Destiny, well, he did seem to think that whatever name you were given must have plotted out some semblance of a path for you... But if that was all pre-determined, then your name would be irrelevant after all.

"And yes, dovey, I think we should start heading back soon, lest we get caught in the darkness."

A silly concern for a pair of nocturnal predators, but it was the sentiment that counted. It was more of a fatigue settling in, after the serious discussion and the romping and swimming. Slay was looking forward to a nice long nap...